


Wondering heart

by Destinedsurvivor7



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Alcohol, Depression, Firstpersonpointofview, M/M, minorviolenceneartheend, oldwriting, reminancingthepast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:08:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27237790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destinedsurvivor7/pseuds/Destinedsurvivor7
Summary: ‘The night was still young, on February the 14th. With everyone else, bonding outside of Homra, leaving me..their personal watch dog to keep the bar safe. As any other night, my mind wonders to the past...especially about that damn monkey at Scepter 4. How much he loves to provoke my emotions daily.’
Relationships: Fushimi Saruhiko/Yata Misaki
Kudos: 7





	Wondering heart

**Author's Note:**

> A personal one shot fanfic attempted earlier this year as a creative project. I have not uploaded much work here, due to a part time job. Maybe in the future..will make more one shot fanfics. :3

‘The day has begun...it’s Valentine's Day...the day usually used for romantic gestures, or heart warming ventures out with friends and family. 

Unless...you’re heart is grieving...mourning over tragic events that has happened days, months, or years ago..than it’s a day of silence...at least enough to get back on your feet the next day.’

-takes a sip of the leftover sparkling wine-

‘Homra’s crew is already out for the evening...I have no reason to be out with everyone who’s out on dates...in fact it leaves a rather bitter taste in my mouth after handling 3 years of betrayal...betrayal I wish would end...either by blood or mending...however, in his eyes...it seems we’re only going to continue to spill each other’s blood...slit each other’s throats...

The anger I feel inside for him...comes more from the same void used to feel...I guess you could say..he was more than my best friend? 

Yet, every time I hear the click of his tongue to the retread tone he likes to use to speak my first name...the name I have told so many of the other red clansman not to use...

“Mi-Sa-Ki!” He grins. 

Oh it sends Homra’s flames spiraling into chaos...the same rage from deep within the void...a void I wish wouldn’t feel constantly..

With each attack...blood spill..words dealt..weapons clash..it’s endless..there’s no winner.. Every time I look into his eyes...I know there’s still a little bit of his childhood self left within his soul...but his soul is overflowing with chaotic energy...every time we dance.. 

Am I afraid? Afraid of him? His capabilities?’

‘Is that why anger feeds Homra’s fire wielding abilities to new heights? 

Maybe...maybe.. 

3 years have passed...maybe more....since then our king’s status has changed. A traumatic experience for Homra....handling the after effects..heh..that only made matters worse. However, I’m glad things are starting to feel more like home again around the bar...even though the constant tug on the heart....hasn’t changed at all. It still craves for his return... All these years of cursing his name...to him they’re empty threats...a little chihuahua trying to dominate his larger adversary he taunts...What a mockery.. We’ve been rivals for almost as long as we’ve been friends..yet I can’t help but feel there’s a little more to this than just throwing shade, and blood.. 

After all...some of his taunts have led to sexual advances...even though minor...my body can’t help but quiver under his strength.

Are we understanding each other more? By fighting? By anger, hostility, hatred towards each other’s name? 

That...I don’t know...

As my mind shifts from memory to memory...I couldn’t help but notice a hidden box poking itself from the pockets of my green shorts... What the hell is this? I wondered... Hmmm..I don’t remember any of Homra’s members mention any shopping..’ -takes the box and starts opening it- ‘If this is a trick...it’s a lousy trick...’ -tears start to roll down cheeks- ‘What...I don’t understand? You of all people? Why this? I thought..arrrrrghhh!’ -it was a chain mail necklace with a silver and black ring dangling at the center..with a note tucked deep in the box- ‘It’s mesmerizing...beautiful...but I don’t understand...why you of all people? 

We’ve made up our minds...at least you have... I don’t know if I should release more of the pent up venom or let this be a sign things are going to get better from here...’

‘It would be nice to let go of this staggering grudge...especially the stress has agitated my appetite some days.’ -Mind chokes on words after breaking down during and after the alcohol conception.- ‘It’s not a weakness to feel strong emotions...many of the guys have mocked me for showing each one..higher levels than they assumed...I had to shout at them:

“it’s ok for men to cry! Shut up!” Just for them to holler more. 

This world is so deranged...women can cry...but men have to suppress theirs because it’s not a masculine character trait.. Probably why have started to release the pent up frustration in silence...whenever the crew splits for different reasons.’ -looks at the necklace- ‘I shouldn’t..but I can’t help this need to see you...do I head out for the night? 

Maybe...however, my current garb may set a different tone this evening...I don’t think fighting in formal clothes would be appropriate...though he might have a different approach...that sly dog.. It doesn’t help being alone with your thoughts either..maybe I will head out for the night..’ -tucking the necklace deep within the pants pocket...and locking up the bar for the night. Speeds away on skateboard to a nearby alleyway.- 

‘I could keep cursing his name all night...but what good would that do..I need to know his hidden intentions..especially with the way the ring taunts me. 

As my mind speaks out for...”Saruhiko!” 

A voice cuts in...a familiar voice...’ -looks at handgun- 

‘Are we going to dance, taunt or finally let go of our pent up emotions..feelings even?’ -I felt the tip of his sword angled against the Adam’s apple..toying for blood- 

‘As I pressed the barrel of the gun against his chin...I knew we already made up our mind...it’s kill or be killed...in this dog eats dog world...my pride is too strong for a Scepter 4 clansman to destroy so easily.

With each clash of our weapons...my spine quivered when I heard my name pass through his lips...’ 

“Mi-Sa-Ki!!”

**Author's Note:**

> I’m a bit sensitive about uploading personal writings online. So comments will be turned off for all future content, until feel more comfortable. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, good night. ^^


End file.
